Look into my eyes, and tell me what you find

Step in, Step out.

Look into my crystal ball.

mademoiselle
Zara, 140990
hotmail/facebook/tumblr

Dysfunctional in my stupor, but if you look beneath the surface, you'd find whimsical serendipity.
— Excuse me while I kiss the sky

Poetry
Men see things in a box, and women see them in a round room.

Exits
Allure
Bloom
Crane
Denotation
Enigmatism
Flair
Grace
Hope
Initiation

Archives
October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010

Credits
©Glamouresque.

Sunday, April 26, 2009, 6:41 AM

I just lost my phone.

I still can't believe I no longer have my phone with me. I know i did make a little noise when I first got the phone. I wasn't used to the typing and how the whole phone was working. But I did really love it, in my materialistic desires I truly loved it. I loved how all the buttons had a different language wordings on them. I loved how I was never really fond of it being pink, but it just fell into place with me. I know material things should never matter in a person's life, however i just can't accept the fact it's gone. It's a device, with a battery running its life and when that battery dies so does all forms of communications that pass through it. What's just tearing me apart is, all the contacts and all the memories that i've experienced with that phone. All the messages, pictures and history and places i've been with that phone. Even without auto-roaming, i still brought it to Europe,India and Kl. All the memories and all gone.
Memories that are in the past should be in the past and not brought into the future. Despite all that bullshit we all tell ourselves time after time, you got to admit. (you do the same thing.)
There were some things from last year that was still dear to my heart even though that's all in the past now. Even messages from this year that had made an impact was all stored. People, loved ones, overseas details. Most people won't understand, but all of that meant something to me. And now, it's all gone like dust in the wind.
The whole time I had this running thought in my head : What other major obstacles in my life do i have to handle? Cause it seems everytime I get back up, something hits me down. Just as I switch off my overwhelmed racing mind, emotions took over. As I'm weeping by the riverside, I start to recall the last time I ever cried or had cried this hard was when I got my heart-broken. Tears were so foreign to my face, it was disturbing. It felt as though, from the moment till now I lost all my emotions. To have that thought in my head or to think that, that was even possible was just unexplainable.
People around me were trying to put positive words into my stubborn head, ( but we all know when you are overwhelmed with emotions you tender to just not listen.) And then it hit me, was this it? Was this the IT that I've been asking for? I've been questioning my life alot for awhile and just recently have more questioning done no good but filled it with more doubts. I asked for something, anything in my life to happen to give me a clue. Was the universe somehow letting me let go of everything, and starting something new? A brand new start or a better continuation without the past?
With that, to everyone out there please don't contact me with that number for now.

But baby, where they knock you down and out

Is where you oughta stay

Step in, Step out. Look into my crystal ball.
mademoiselle Zara, 140990 hotmail/facebook/tumblr Dysfunctional in my stupor, but if you look beneath the surface, you'd find whimsical serendipity. — Excuse me while I kiss the sky Poetry Men see things in a box, and women see them in a round room. Exits Allure Bloom Crane Denotation Enigmatism Flair Grace Hope Initiation Archives October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Sunday, April 26, 2009, 6:41 AM I just lost my phone. I still can't believe I no longer have my phone with me. I know i did make a little noise when I first got the phone. I wasn't used to the typing and how the whole phone was working. But I did really love it, in my materialistic desires I truly loved it. I loved how all the buttons had a different language wordings on them. I loved how I was never really fond of it being pink, but it just fell into place with me. I know material things should never matter in a person's life, however i just can't accept the fact it's gone. It's a device, with a battery running its life and when that battery dies so does all forms of communications that pass through it. What's just tearing me apart is, all the contacts and all the memories that i've experienced with that phone. All the messages, pictures and history and places i've been with that phone. Even without auto-roaming, i still brought it to Europe,India and Kl. All the memories and all gone. Memories that are in the past should be in the past and not brought into the future. Despite all that bullshit we all tell ourselves time after time, you got to admit. (you do the same thing.) There were some things from last year that was still dear to my heart even though that's all in the past now. Even messages from this year that had made an impact was all stored. People, loved ones, overseas details. Most people won't understand, but all of that meant something to me. And now, it's all gone like dust in the wind. The whole time I had this running thought in my head : What other major obstacles in my life do i have to handle? Cause it seems everytime I get back up, something hits me down. Just as I switch off my overwhelmed racing mind, emotions took over. As I'm weeping by the riverside, I start to recall the last time I ever cried or had cried this hard was when I got my heart-broken. Tears were so foreign to my face, it was disturbing. It felt as though, from the moment till now I lost all my emotions. To have that thought in my head or to think that, that was even possible was just unexplainable. People around me were trying to put positive words into my stubborn head, ( but we all know when you are overwhelmed with emotions you tender to just not listen.) And then it hit me, was this it? Was this the IT that I've been asking for? I've been questioning my life alot for awhile and just recently have more questioning done no good but filled it with more doubts. I asked for something, anything in my life to happen to give me a clue. Was the universe somehow letting me let go of everything, and starting something new? A brand new start or a better continuation without the past? With that, to everyone out there please don't contact me with that number for now.
But baby, where they knock you down and out Is where you oughta stay